Rooted Mama Podcast
Episode 10: Our Thoughts and Self Sabotage Patterns
Episode #10: Our Thoughts and Self Sabotage Patterns
Our thoughts can come from many places. They also vary in their importance. Some should be listened to and considered, others shouldn’t. In this episode, Shelby dives into the conscious and subconscious brain, where thoughts originate, and how our core unconscious beliefs shape our thoughts and actions. By understanding how our brains (and thoughts) function, we can change subconscious beliefs that negatively affect how we interact with our world, freeing us up to live a radically free life.
Our brain is like an iceberg; our conscious brain is just the surface, but our subconscious brain is what drives most of our reactions. An example of the subconscious brain’s work is a scenario where we get irrationally upset about something and aren’t sure why. This happens because within the subconscious brain is an old memory or belief that was triggered by this new scenario. The subconscious brain thinks in black and white. Its ultimate goal is keeping us safe and balanced, so it flags this new experience as a threat because of its similarity to a past negative experience or belief, and our reaction will follow suit. We react as if we are still facing the original threat that our subconscious brain has stored in its vault for future self-protection. If we define safety as homeostasis, or familiarity, then it makes sense that the subconscious brain has a software “program” of this nature. It makes predictions based on past experiences that cause us to act in ways compatible with the past. Problems arise when we are unaware of our unconscious brain working in this way. It is the basis of self-sabotage.
Between the ages of 2-7, our brains emit theta waves. Theta state is associated with peace, creativity, and harmony. After age 7, we shift into a beta state. We’re awake, functional, and concentrated. When we watch TV, our brains emit alpha waves. In this state, we’re more open to suggestion. Finally, in the gamma stage, we are in intense concentration. As our brain is in these different states, we emit different frequencies. Each frequency is tied to how our “programs” are developed. Our programs are our underlying beliefs about how the world works. We don’t have to be aware of what our beliefs (programs) are for them to be constantly running in the background. We might have a negative underlying belief that lives in our subconscious and that belief could cause a lot of problems, because that belief is what is running our life and making a majority of our decisions.This matters because our conscious thoughts are reflections of our subconscious underlying beliefs.Maybe a thought was implanted that we’re not aware of–perhaps a distant relative would speak down to us when they were around, and that planted a thought in our subconscious that grew into a belief.
Thoughts can come from the subconscious brain and the spiritual realm. Thoughts can come from TV shows. Movies and media are very influential in this way. Wherever a thought originates, there is a lot of freedom in knowing that it is not always from us. We don’t have to give a thought power over us, we don’t have to feel guilt or shame over a thought, we can notice it and let it go. We can choose not to pursue a thought any further, freeing our brain from internalizing it into a belief.
However, if we are noticing a lot of negative thoughts about ourselves or our circumstance, it’s important to take note, as this is often a sign of a core belief. For example, one of my sons tends to express negative thoughts about himself and the situations he finds himself in. I believe this is because one of his core, unconscious beliefs is that life is unfair and everyone is out to get him. These beliefs manifest in his language. In many ways, his beliefs become self-fulfilling prophecies, because even if a situation he is in is positive, his negative attitude that is shaped by his core beliefs make situations negative. I constantly remind him that putting out negative language and attitudes have a profound effect on those around him; if I don’t intervene, it can be really easy for him to take a situation and make it negative.
If we have a negative belief, we do not need to spiral into guilt and shame. Instead, we can take what Break Method calls “radical personal responsibility.” By taking radical personal responsibility instead of succumbing to victimization, guilt, or shame, we can make sustainable changes to our subconscious beliefs that will impact our external behaviors for the better.
The best way to change our core beliefs is through radical love and acceptance. Behavior change does not happen if we only grit our teeth and focus on changing the behavior itself. Change comes when we are seen, loved, and accepted for who we are right now. The behavior change comes later. For me, accepting God’s radical love for me allowed me to change my core beliefs, and once those core beliefs were changed, so did my behaviors.
We do not have to stay stuck in the subconscious core beliefs that sabotage the life we want for ourselves; we can consciously choose to change our subconscious belief programs that will allow us to lead the life we want.By believing that we are loved exactly how we are, we can take responsibility for ourselves, and break those old core beliefs that do not serve us or those around us! To get all the details of this episode, be sure to listen on your favorite streaming platform, and if you haven’t already, subscribe to my email list to stay up-to-date on all future podcast episodes!